Can you believe fall is here and we are heading into the holiday season? It all starts in October, the pumpkin patches become Christmas tree lots, the displays of Halloween candy become displays of Thanksgiving meal items such as cans of pumpkin, boxes of stuffing, marshmallows for the sweet potatoes, and of course canned french onions and cream of mushroom soup for those green bean casseroles.

The holiday season also tends to bring on a tremendous amount of stress. There is shopping to do, parties to go to, parties to plan, and the battle of the bulge. The stores are crowded and fellow shoppers tend to be in foul moods. It also tends to be the time of year when an already bad marriage will hit the breaking point. I have found that this time of year is busy with appointments with those that are planning to file for divorce in January. As a general rule, most people want to wait until the first of the year because they want the kids to get through the holidays without having to deal with their parents’ divorce. They also don’t want to have the possibility of going through one or more of the holidays without their children.

Inherent in a divorce involving children, is the decision of how the holidays will be divided. Sometimes it goes easy based upon family traditions and religious beliefs. For example, if one parent is Jewish and one is Christian, the Hanukkah and Christmas holidays are easily divided.

But what if both parents want Christmas Day or Thanksgiving Day? What happens then? If the decision is left to the court, it is generally an easy decision for the Judge to decide. Absent extenuating circumstances, Thanksgiving Day will go to one parent one year and the other parent the next year, and will rotate yearly thereafter. Splitting up the actual day is not favored. With regard to Christmas, the parents will usually be awarded Christmas Eve to Christmas morning one year and from Christmas morning until December 26 the next year, rotating with the other parent year to year. In situations where families traditionally travel outside the state to be with relatives for the holidays, there will generally be an order that the parents get the entire Christmas holiday one year, alternating back and forth, year to year.

Hopefully, everyone reading this has a wonderful holiday season to come and does not have to worry about dividing the children during the holidays. However, if divorce is imminent, or you are already going through a divorce and do not have custody orders for the holidays, you can use this article as a guide in helping you reach an agreement with the other parent.

Pamela Edwards-Swift, Certified Family Law Specialist,